Emotions are hard – whether it’s dealing with a bad day, an unexpected curveball life throws your way, or a problem you have been carrying with you for a long time. They can be tough to manage and feel like another burden to carry. We tend to avoid emotions that are uncomfortable until they feel like a heavy weight on our shoulders. We may try to control our emotions or tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel the way we do. Truth is that our feelings are more complex than something we need to avoid or control. Our beliefs about emotions can affect our self-esteem and relationships with others. Let’s explore some of these emotional myths that hold us back in our healing journey:
- Myth – Emotions are good or bad.
Truth – Although some emotions can be uncomfortable, they play an important part in our lives and serve a purpose. Fear alerts us that there’s something wrong. Anger can motivate or protect us, while guilt reminds us that something has happened that doesn’t align with our values. - Myth – There’s a right way to feel.
Truth – It can be confusing, disappointing, or frustrating when our emotions don’t align with our expectations or thoughts. Truth is, everyone’s perspective is unique, and because of this, there is no right way to feel about a situation. The way you feel about something is valid for your lived experiences. - Myth – I should be happy all the time.
Truth – Being happy is amazing, but we can’t be all the time. We want to be happy and always avoid the negative, but in truth, we need to experience all our emotions to cherish happiness. Seeing it as a gift rather than a guarantee can help us feel less guilty and frustrated when we’re not feeling well. - Myth – Women are more emotional than men.
Truth – Men and women experience emotions similarly; the difference lies in what we expect from men and women when they express their emotions. These expectations can push people to change how they express their feelings or not express them at all. It can be hard to ignore these expectations and risk being authentic. - Myth – Other people’s actions control how I feel.
Truth – What others do can impact our mood and emotions, but no one can make us feel a certain way. Our feelings are a reaction to our past experiences, observations, reactions, and interpretations. We have to take responsibility for and understand what we feel and how we respond. - Myth – Emotions are inferior to logic.
Truth – For a balanced perspective, we need to consider both our emotions and logic. Logic is great for problem-solving or thinking through options, while emotions tell us what we actually want or care about. - Myth – I can always trust my gut feeling.
Truth – It’s always important to pay attention to how we feel, but we should be cautious about how we interpret what we feel. Our gut feeling is not always right, because it’s shaped by our experiences, subjective, and biased. - Myth – Talking about emotions is useless.
Truth – Talking about emotions goes beyond problem-solving. Talking about our emotions helps us make sense of what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it. This alone can make things more manageable, lead to new perspectives, and can help us implement change.
Emotions are a natural part of being human; embracing and understanding them can help us grow and feel better. Our emotions don’t define us but can guide us if we pay attention and remain open to them. We can learn to respond to our feelings in a healthier and more mindful way. By embracing curiosity and giving ourselves compassion, we can open ourselves up to embracing all of our emotions and experiences.
Written by: Vivien Rohde
