Some researchers estimate we have up to 70,000 thoughts a day, and they say around 90% of these thoughts are repetitive and negative. Thinking is the trademark of our species. Although other animals “think” in the sense that their brains produce electrical signals, what’s unique about humans is that we know we are thinking. This ability is what sets us apart from other species on this planet and is what makes us able to enact therapeutic change.
Given the enormous space our thinking takes up in our lives, what could be a better investment than learning how to create more space between ourselves and our thoughts? The thing about thinking is that it can be unruly, hard to predict or control. If we were to sit down and command ourselves to not think about X (the upcoming presentation, the curling iron we might have left plugged in), we are going to think about X. Similarly, we can’t predict what we’re going to think 6 seconds from now, many of us feel our thoughts take on a life of their own and take us wherever they want to go. The first step to a greater freedom from our thinking is not to stop thinking but simply to be able to notice what’s happening, without judgement or resistance.
I’d like to introduce an exercise that helps us begin to notice the nature of our thinking by noticing the nature of sound. I invite you to read through the description and then practice it on your own.
I invite you to find a room where you’ll be undisturbed for 10 minutes and set a timer. If you’re reading this in the warmer months, you could sit in a chair by an open window to allow some of the sounds from the outdoors to enter your space. Find an upright but relaxed position with your palms face up on your lap and your feet flat on the floor. Breathe in and out of your nose easily, slowly and with a relaxed belly. Now, if it feels comfortable, I’d like you to close your eyes or rest them somewhere nearby.
Begin to notice the sounds in your environment. Try to stay with the bare sound without adding any extra thinking or judgement. Notice how sounds arise out of nothing and return back into nothing. There is no way of predicting what sound might come next. Notice how the sound of a plane or a garbage truck or a bird enters your sensory field, and then just like that is gone. Try to stay with each sound from beginning to end, noticing its closeness and distance, its gradual loudening and quieting.
Maybe you’re already noticing there’s some thinking present. This is normal. This is our thing as humans. Grounded in your body, still breathing gently, I’d like you to notice these thoughts like you would notice a cloud in the sky. Without determining whether they are good or bad, you can simply label them quietly for what they are: thinking, planning, judging, fear. Notice how, like sound, a thought appears out of nothing and, if we simply observe it, goes back into nothing.
Maybe one thought is particularly sticky, and you get lost in it. Maybe you forget you’re doing the exercise altogether and whole minutes go by. You might be tempted to get up and start writing a grocery list. This is normal. Just come back to the sounds of the space and the anchor of your breath. When your 10-minute timer goes off, sit gently until you’re ready to re-enter your day.
You just practiced what the Buddhists call non-attachment and what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) calls cognitive defusion. The more we engage in practices like this one, the more we will begin to see the nature of our thoughts. They come, and they go. Not much more to it. These constructions that we give so much power to, that we can become fused to and let take over the majority of our lives, are not all that.
For most of us, even after years of meditation practice, it is rare for our minds to be empty. We will likely still have negative, self-defeating thoughts pop into our minds, but with more and more practice, we learn to recognize them as mere events rather than truths. Hello thinking, we might say. Hello fear. Mindfulness, this word thrown around a lot these days, is just saying hello.
This post is adapted from talks by the late meditation teacher Rob Burbea that can be found on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@boubabuddha
Written by Emily Wunsch
