Around 2019, I looked around and noticed that despite our phones, social media, and the internet making us appear more connected than ever, loneliness had become an even bigger public health issue.
Researchers have been studying social connection and loneliness for decades. Robert Putnam has spent decades documenting how Americans were disconnecting from one another, from neighbors, from civic groups, and from friends. Historian Stephanie Coontz’s work describes another piece of the issue: how the shift away from extended family and community networks toward the nuclear family changed the way people relate to one another and seek support.
Now here we are in 2026, three years after former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared loneliness and social isolation a public health epidemic. Since he made this a priority for Americans’ health, we’ve entered the AI era, with chatbots like ChatGPT and Claude further changing the way many people think about relationships and connection.
Despite how ominous all of this sounds, I see reasons to feel hopeful.
My optimism comes from understanding that we humans are naturally social creatures. The need to belong is one of our most fundamental human motivations. I believe more people are starting to see that, and bit by bit, we’re making social connection a priority.
I also see the growing awareness that loneliness is a health crisis. In Chicago, entrepreneurs are opening venues with social connection as a priority. I go out in the evenings and see people dancing, laughing, and finding joy together, even during these hard times.
If you’re experiencing loneliness or if your friendships feel like they’ve faded, know there are small steps you can take right away to feel more socially connected.
It Begins With You: Self-Care
The concept of self-care has become almost a cliché, but it can serve as the foundation for your social health. Self-care involves small daily activities that bring your mind and body into connection with one another and help you reach a state of calm and balance. That way, when you enter a room with other people, you bring that calm and centered energy.
The late psychologist John Cacioppo’s research showed that when people dread social interactions, they tend to behave in ways that confirm their fears, a cycle that deepens over time.
In my work with clients, we think about setting intentions before we walk into a room. We also think about how starting the day with a cup of coffee while gazing out of a window, or any version of that, can create a sense of calm that we can carry into our day and into our social interactions.
Social Snacking Can Help
Some people think they need to change something drastically about themselves in order to make friends, which can feel massive and overwhelming. Fortunately, even quick moments of connection can help us feel less lonely.
Social snacking is a term used to describe the brief interactions that can improve our social health: saying hi to a barista, exchanging a smile with a bus driver, making a joke with a fellow passenger in an elevator, or holding the door open for someone.
In his new book A Little More Social, University of Chicago Booth behavioral scientist Nick Epley shares how small steps can get you on a path to feeling less lonely. His research shows that people consistently underestimate how positive a brief exchange with a stranger will be, and how willing strangers actually are to engage.
Research by social demographer Nell Compernolle at NORC at the University of Chicago deepens our understanding of loneliness. Loneliness isn’t always a chronic state. It can fluctuate based on your immediate social context. Small moments of connection throughout the day can shift a person’s sense of isolation, even temporarily.
What I learned from these researchers is that sometimes even a brief interaction can help you feel a little less alone.
Bridge the Age Gap
We are incredibly age-siloed these days. Many of us spend most of our time with people who are roughly our own age and miss out on the vibrancy and connection that intergenerational relationships can bring.
Breaking out of the age silo can bring tremendous joy. It lets you be present and supportive for those younger than you while benefiting from the wisdom and lived experience of those who have been around longer.
I saw intergenerational ties firsthand during my second-year field placement as an intern at Arab American Family Services, where relationships were built on deep respect for the wisdom of elders and an emphasis on community. I loved seeing how intergenerational relationships have the ability to broaden social networks and help protect against loneliness.
Start Now
As Dr. Murthy showed us, loneliness isn’t a minor irritant. He has pointed to research suggesting that chronic loneliness can have health effects comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. We must put social health on the list of priorities, just as we do physical health.
It can be a smile at the person crossing the street or a video call with a family member or old friend. It can be a new friendship with a young neighbor or tea with the 85-year-old next door.
We don’t need to change our personalities to feel less lonely. Take a moment each day to find your center. Engage in social snacking. Find people decades older and younger than you who make you smile. The connections are out there waiting for us.
Written by: Wendy Widom
